Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Broken News

The following is not aimed at the RCC ... in fact...

The spread of unity
Orlando, March 2, 2011

The Most Rev. Marion Samuel, writing from his cathedral and "Quick fix" wedding chapel on Maryland's famous Route One, in his back yard, has announced that his church is seeking entrance into the new Ordinariate.

On behalf of the Ecumenical and International English Independent Old Catholic Church (EIEIO CC), we sent the following correspondence to Cardinal Kasper in 2009: "We eagerly seek Reunion with the One True Church established through Saint Peter and his successors in Rome. No doubt, by bringing all five of our church-wedding chapels, into the One Real honest to goodness Catholic Church, we will completely restore unity like it was before 1054. We await your reply, eager to grovel, if that's what it takes to be able to say with Jessie Jackson, "I am...someBODY!"

In February of 2011, Cardinal Kasper's office sent the following email to Archbishop Marion Samuel:

"As we proceed toward the erection of Ordinariates we would invite you to make contact directly with Archbishop Wuerl (and for God's sake give me a break) at the following address…" Humbly, the EIEIO CC responded with a resounding "YES", mailing a letter to Cardinal Wuerl in compliance with the correspondence received from the CDF, requesting to be a part of this wonderful reunification of the Church.

"The EIEIO CC was formed in 2008 when it broke away from...well some other outfit with a lot of letters," said Samuel. "Our website lists our full Apostolic Succession as recorded and carefully preserved on my own personal computer." On Sundays, Archbishop Marion Samuel's cathedral/ wedding chapel ($200.00 a wedding, no questions asked) holds services for the congregation consisting of his Grace's wife, three kids, next door neighbor, the family dog, and occasionally young couples about to enjoy a honeymoon.

Yes, the move towards the unity for which our Lord prayed is gaining momentum.


Anonymous said...

This would be funny if it wasn't so close to reality.

Anonymous said...

Any news on when the family dog will be made suffrigan bishop?

Fr Theodore

Fr. Wells said...

Here is the reality:

Now what does Cardinal Wuerl thnk of this?


Mr. Mcgranor said...

Such a membership is the state of many a traditional Protestant church. Conventional Protestantism(not the Jehovah Witnesses, Pentecostal Oneness and Mormons) is in shambles. Shambles because the counterculture toppled their system. Now Islamic Law is a threat because the Common Law of Christ's liberty has been turned to license. So all are making gains except Protestants. Even the Eastern Orthodox Church in America is making gains here. Note_ i am of course excluding 'Evangelical' churches and their megachurch phenomenon.

AFS1970 said...

Before I saw all the jokes in this article, I was thinking that yet another spurious jurisdiction was running Romeward. For a minute I thought this might be one of those groups that follow any of the various antipopes.