Thursday, March 13, 2008

What has 815 in common with Jerusalem?

One of our readers Laurence Pittenger, said he couldn't help himself, but just had to write this after reading what passes for an Easter message by the CEO (I will not call her a Presiding Bishop) of the Episcopal Church. If you have a strong stomach, and want to get the maximum laugh from Laurence's poem, you can read this "Easter Message" for yourself. You can even try to see what it has to do with Holy Week and Easter. The first one to make such a connection will win 10 million American dollars, provided we can find someone to cough it up.

To the tune St. Kevin by Sir Arthur Sullivan (i.e., Come ye faithful, raise the strain...)
Episcopalians, hide those eggs!
Display that branch a-greenin'
But remember, as you do,
The season's truer meaning!
No, I don't mean Jesus Christ,
Or even resurrection,
But what we preach to take His place:
Environmental protection!

Jews and Christians are at fault
For all the world's pollution,
By their foolish rejection of
The Caananite solution!
Fertility goddesses, and the Baals,
And Love Children of the '60s,
Were right instead -- but don?t despair...
We've got your new B.C.P.s!

Here come the 'palian missionaries,
(Though not as you expected)
Sewage, not sin, is to be done in
(The H.O.B. excepted.)
Rising sea levels aren't caused by sin,
We need no Noah's arks,
For what the church should fight today...
Is hamburgers and cow farts!

Episcopalians, raise the strain,
Of your new religion:
Kick the last good bishops out,
Invite more unbaptized in! (*)
Sue the orthodox laity,
Abandon member retention,
We need to sell their buildings off...
So we can pay our pensions!

(*) For those few who might not get the reference: the bishopess of
Utah, a former Mormon, has never received Christian baptism. She is,
sacramentally, what much of the H.O.B. is theologically ?
non-Christian. And, of course, in a similarly total rejection of
Christian sacramental theology, more and more dioceses are not
requiring baptism for the reception of communion.


Anonymous said...

There are no words to describe this mockery of the Church. The fact that it exists without being smote is still the more unbelievable.

Fr W E Bauer (EMC)

Sandra McColl said...

Actually, Mormon baptism is, I believe, correct as to form (unlike, apparently, some recent RC variations), even if they don't quite understand 'the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost' to mean what the Church has always believed it to mean. So query whether we should be so quick to dismiss it.

LP said...

Don't miss the "bulletin inserts" which 815 posted for its parishes to print out and include with her lecture. You'll find their visual imagery as devoid of any reference to the cross or resurrection as Dr. Schori's message is devoid of the Easter good news. Bulletin Inserts

As a commentator on another blog said, upon first reading the Presiding Individual's "Easter Message":
Brilliant parody! I almost fell over laughing!
It is a parody, isn’t it… ?

Nope. No parody. Apparently that little address (linked in Fr. Hart's introduction and merely reworked in my hymnodic sendup of her -- not the Church's -- teaching) is actually what the Presiding Individual of the Episcobaal Cult thinks ought to be her leadership message to all parishes on the Church's great feast day.

Other blogs have commented -- often much more pointedly -- on her, um, contributions here and here.

May our Easter celebrations, unlike hers, celebrate the true Good News of Our Lord's triumph over death and sin.

pax Christi,

LP said...

even if they don't quite understand 'the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost' to mean what the Church has always believed it to mean

It's more than just "don't quite"... they fundamentally reject it.

Thus - according to orthodox & catholic sacramental theology - while the "form" of their ceremony may be correct, if the names of the Three Persons of the Trinity are used, the "intent" is necessarily defective because what is meant by those words is not the Christian Trinity.

It would be as if you had a frat house very fond of the Three Stooges and who called them, in an odd local custom, the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" rather than "Moe, Curly, and Larry." In that context, while what they said might sound like a reference to the Trinity, what they meant would refer to something completely different.

In the same way, Mormons are not baptizing anyone into the Christian Trinity, even if the phonemes they speak during the ceremony sound familiar.

A brief learned discussion of this fact, from a Roman author, may be found here.


Nicholas said...

Being a former Witness I'll concur on the Mormon bit but I will voice a subtle nuance. I believe Witnesses, as Arian's should be received via a conditional baptism. It seems Arian's weren't rebaptised by the early church.

Mormon baptism is invalid since they do not ascribe true divinity to any of the Persons and are de facto polytheists. Christians, Arian's included, believe that they are being given a grace by the One True God. Mormons can not join in this claim.