To the tune St. Kevin by Sir Arthur Sullivan (i.e., Come ye faithful, raise the strain...)
Episcopalians, hide those eggs!
Display that branch a-greenin'
But remember, as you do,
The season's truer meaning!
No, I don't mean Jesus Christ,
Or even resurrection,
But what we preach to take His place:
Jews and Christians are at fault
For all the world's pollution,
By their foolish rejection of
The Caananite solution!
Fertility goddesses, and the Baals,
And Love Children of the '60s,
Were right instead -- but don?t despair...
We've got your new B.C.P.s!
Here come the 'palian missionaries,
(Though not as you expected)
Sewage, not sin, is to be done in
(The H.O.B. excepted.)
Rising sea levels aren't caused by sin,
We need no Noah's arks,
For what the church should fight today...
Is hamburgers and cow farts!
Episcopalians, raise the strain,
Of your new religion:
Kick the last good bishops out,
Invite more unbaptized in! (*)
Sue the orthodox laity,
Abandon member retention,
We need to sell their buildings off...
So we can pay our pensions!
(*) For those few who might not get the reference: the bishopess of
, a former Mormon, has never received Christian baptism. She is,
sacramentally, what much of the H.O.B. is theologically ?
non-Christian. And, of course, in a similarly total rejection of
Christian sacramental theology, more and more dioceses are not
requiring baptism for the reception of communion.